Enough already!  I’m tired of running!  Tired of wearing masks, changing planes, dodging drones, I’m sick of all of it.  I’m taking a minor detour from the story to find out WHO is behind all this stalking and attempts at my life.  I know why. You know why.  Those three dead monks, poor Moeke, and the other two.  Remember when I told you that Primo was looking into it?  He just told me that he’s being forwarded a file from the Big Sur Police Department that handled the murders.  I’m hoping a fine-tooth comb and I can find something.  

Back to Mama’s story.  And by the way, at this point, my Mama ain’t no spring chicken.  She’s been through the ringer at this little church, and in my opinion, she’s been there long enough.  Here we go:

The years sailed by with ease at the Shepherd’s Gate.  Dave slipped into his pastoral role with ease and enthusiasm with Abby by his side.  Dave rekindled his deep relationship with God and truly lived what he preached.  The flock matured and blossomed.  Many ministries were birthed from that period of time and overflowed onto the community.  Dave’s family grew alongside the church family.  God’s favor was surely on Dave as it seemed everything he touched, like before, turned to gold. 

Mama’s writing during that time were light and happy.  She loved Dave, Abby and their kids like they were her own.  I remember those fun days.  All the little kids would run through our yard squealing, Dave would wear Mama’s apron and BBQ on the porch while Abby and Mama fixed up corn and yeast rolls in the kitchen.  Life was good, for when the grace of God is upon a person or a flock, there is prosperity of peace and growth. Life seems to work well when you know how to use it.

Dave seemed to have the perfect balance of warning mixed with love.  

I  remember a Sunday morning service where he had a narrow path built up on stage with pretty flowers and a white gate.  He explained that God’s narrow path was the safe road with no lions on it, but it was narrow and hard to find.  Then the stage curtain went up, and there was an enormous wide road set up  with hit songs playing from it with multiple paths you could travel once you went through the gate.  The lights were swirling and blinking, people were dancing, drinking and laughing.  Business men talked and exchanged money, and there was stuff to buy everywhere.  When I looked back at the small gate, it was beautiful, but small.  I could easily see why the wide one attracted the masses.  

The church was taught the reap what you sow principle, making everyone accountable for their own actions.  Galatians 6:7, “Do not be deceived.   God will not be mocked.  Whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.” 

Though everything wasn’t perfect, it was really, really good.  Families were intact and strong, and most practiced what they preached.  Dave was a good musician, teacher, a good pastor, a good husband and a good friend.  He treated Mama like his own mother and she, once again, loved her job.  

But then….(why is there always a BUT?) Dave made a treacherous mistake.  He let his guard down.  He got too comfortable.

It was the end of June.  Our church had its annual picnic at the lake that summer.  I remember it like yesterday.  I had gone early with Mama to help with the fun day.  There were shade tents set up and the barbeque pits were lit, letting off their smells of summer.  Two picnic tables were full of children, all eating hot dogs and talking at once.  Sunbathers were positioning themselves for the best exposure, and the men were sorting out fishing rods and poles near the dock.  I can even remember what I was wearing, a red and white sundress over my swimsuit.  The azure sky matched the lake in color.  A slight breeze kept the weather perfect.  Oh, how I remember the mood!  I would call it “Happy!”  The squeal of rambunctious children was heard as their mothers began revealing the pot-luck surprises.  It was the perfect day… almost.  

It was after 3:00 p.m. and the crowd was winding down.  The breeze had seriously picked up, and Mama wanted me to go to the bathrooms and change so I could help with the clean up.  It was then that I saw it.  How many times have I gone over that moment, I’m not sure, but it was startling to say the least.  As I approached the bathrooms, Babs Gardner, a young woman new to our church, was rinsing off in the outdoor showers.  She had shocked me earlier in the day when she played volleyball on the beach with the men and children and only wore a revealing bikini.  She was married but her husband, Phil, was stationed overseas.  Out of pure loneliness,  she had found our church.   She was a beautiful woman and wore her suit well.  

 

As I passed her, she was rinsing out her long brown hair with her head tilted back with her eyes closed.  I thought how much she looked like she was in an advertisement the way she stood under the water.  I used the restroom and was washing my hands when I first heard voices.  The main door to the restroom was propped open, but it was still hard to hear what was being said.  As I rounded the corner, I was stunned to see Dave leaning nonchalantly against the brick wall chatting with Babs.  The reason I stopped dead in my tracks and then backed up was that Dave was standing there without a shirt on in his bathing suit looking more like a California surfer than a 50-year old pastor.  

I’m not sure why I felt so awkward, but I remember I stopped and slowly backed up out of sight.  I could hear Dave talking to her and laughing.  It didn’t feel right.  But why was I embarrassed?  I hadn’t done anything wrong.  And why did I feel so weird about all this?  She laughed, and then I heard Dave’s laugh.  As I strained to hear, I heard him say, “Yeah, give me a call, I can help you go over all that paperwork. No problem.”

I walked out right then and my presence seemed to break up the little party quite quickly.  I didn’t like it one bit.  I didn’t like her either.  

I never mentioned to Mama what I saw, I just let it go.  Mama had never brought up Bikini Babs, so I didn’t either.  It was four months later when it all broke, like a dam collapsing under a wall of water.  In a nutshell, Babs was pregnant, her husband was done and Dave was disgraced.  Of course, Mama’s fast and furious hand was at it again, writing in her diary.  This is copied straight out of it:

“It’s like a nightmare that won’t stop.  The tsunami is once again pressing down on our sweet church.  Yesterday as I was busy working on the scheduling, I looked up as Dave walked by my desk and casually told me to cancel all his appointments for the day.  I was shocked.  I stood at my desk and asked if Abby or the kids were sick.  He stopped and smiled at me and told me he had a home visit  and everything was fine.  It made no sense to me.  My mind scanned the elderly in our flock that could be in need of in-home counseling, but no one came to mind.  Nothing had passed through my desk.  The pit in my stomach and the heaviness that I had thought was gone for good was back, and it screamed that something was wrong.  I got so flustered, I left work myself.  I went home and started cooking dinner.  My mind was going 100 mph and every possible situation entered the stage of my imagination and played out its part.  

It was then I realized I had no spaghetti noodles, even though the sauce was already boiling.  I headed out to the market down 51st Street, turned on Lincoln and then a right on Meander.  That is when I spotted Dave’s car.  It was parked outside the Glendale Apartments.   I should have just kept going, headed for the noodles,  but for my own piece of mind, I circled the block and parked one street over.  I bent the visor down, put my seat back and slouched low.  I waited.  The sun began its long sumertime descent casting its shadows over the car and street.  I waited.   By 8:00, I began to doubt whether that was really Dave’s car.  And I didn’t know anyone who lived at Glendale.  I decided then I would leave at 8:30, with or without any facts.  

I prayed with my eyes wide open,  I asked Jesus for peace, to settle my fretting.  After all, I loved Dave and his family like they were my own.  It was about 8:15 when I saw Dave walking out.  He had his sports jacket thrown over one shoulder along with his tie, and his shirt was unbuttoned down to his chest.  He kept his head down and walked straight to his car, pulled out into the street and drove into the night.  

 

I couldn’t believe it!  Since I had to know who he was visiting, I got out of my car and shut the door as quietly as I could.  I was so nervous my legs were trembling.  I kept praying, “God, show me the truth, show me the little old man that lives here that Dave was visiting.”  But God didn’t lead me to a little old man.  As I entered the apartment complex, I slowed down, not knowing where to go or who I was looking for.  It was then that I saw her, Babs.  She was headed to the laundry room with a basket full of sheets.  It felt like my blood was draining from my head quickly filling up my feet.  I turned quickly and headed straight out to my car.  

By the time I got in, I felt the tears and the old familiar grip of betrayal wrapping itself around my heart.  Devastation is not sufficient to describe my feelings for not only my own heart, but for Dave’s family.  I was so overwhelmed I don’t even remember driving back home. My mind reverted back to Babs at the beach last summer parading around in her bikini.   I never got the noodles.  I never ate that night.  I fell into bed and cried myself to sleep.  I could not endure another calamity carried out by the hand of man, I would not.”

Mama wrote about how her heart tried to cut off Dave, and how he seemed to not even notice.  He was in a different world, a new world.  My Mama is a strong woman, and she wasn’t about to just lie down and watch this one unfold.  She did something  very interesting.  Mama got a hold of a well-respected  Christian leader and spoke to him on the side.  She penciled him in for the next week and then told Dave that Mr. ‘Special’ was coming to talk to him.  Dave was so enamored with this news, he was bubbly and excited.  He could hardly believe someone so well known and respected would be coming to him for advice!  He could hardly contain himself as he counted down the days to the meeting.  

On that special day, Mama ushered this great man of God into Dave’s office at precisely 2:00.  She closed the door and left the building.  She already knew what he was going to say.

After a few pleasantries, Dave motioned for Mr. ‘Special’ to have a seat.  Dave sat down as well.  “So,  what is it that I owe this great honor?” 

The man of God pursed his lips together and paused.  “Well, Dave, I got this situation.  I have a man on my team that is very talented with a great great future.  I have mentored him myself.”  

Dave nodded his head as he held on to his every word.  

“So, anyways, I had big big plans for this guy, possibly to be my next-in-line, if you know what I mean.”  

For a brief moment, Dave wondered if he was going to ask him to be his next in line!  

“But he’s stumbled, he’s fallen low from a lofty place.”  

Dave’s scrunched up his face, “What, what did he do? Did he steal money?”  

Sitting forward with both big hands clasped, he was almost whispering,  “That would actually be easier.  I found out he’s committing adultery, they are both married.”  

Dave heard himself gasp.  

“He doesn’t know I know yet.  I am not sure what to do.  I figured a guy like you with this big church could guide me.  Surely you’ve seen this kind of thing before.”  

Dave stood and started pacing, “Of course I have.  He must go.  No doubt about it.  He must go immediately, no matter how talented he is, he has to go.  You know the scripture, a little yeast goes through the whole loaf?  That is what will happen with your organization.  He must go.”  David looked squarely into the wise man’s eyes.  He felt his heart racing, wondering if he answered correctly.  Knowing that he didn’t travel all the way out here to ask him a foundational question that anybody could answer, Dave decided he must be interviewing him for some opportunity.  

The silence continued.  

The man just stared straight into Dave’s eyes, saying nothing.  Dave began to feel uncomfortable, but the man remained silent and kept staring.  

“So, did that help you at all?”  Dave finally spoke up.  

“Yes.  But my question is did it help you?”  Dave was caught off guard.  He didn’t get what was going on.  

The visitor began to rise, “The man is you. You have laid your own judgment out.  Now do to yourself what you would do to another.”  And he walked out.  

Dave stood alone, frozen, shaken from the sharp rebuke.  He had been found out.  It was over.